Photo: FilmMagic
Earlier this week, the tragic news broke that My Chemical Romance's former drummer Bob Bryar passed away. The band shared a tribute on Instagram, writing: "It is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to Bob Bryar, our former bandmate and an important part of the history of My Chemical Romance. We send our deepest condolences to his friends and family at this time. May he rest in peace."
Now, after spending "the past few days thinking about Bob a lot," guitarist Frank Iero penned a long, emotional message about his former bandmate and friend. "i still don’t feel like this is real… people your age, your peers, the ones you shared so much time and experience with aren’t supposed to just suddenly leave your life forever," he wrote on Instagram, "but i suppose permanence isn’t really a concept humans are meant to understand."
He went on to detail is complicated relationship with Bryar, who he called "an enigma of sorts because he often inhabited both ends of any spectrum at the same time."
"He was my friend and my bandmate, but he was also a stranger to me for most of my life," Iero recalled.
After sharing anecodotes about the drummer, Iero turned to lament, writing: "There were also times when i think Bob disliked me immensely, and wished he could kick me out of the band." After a tragic incident that resulted in the death of his dog, "things really went south with him and the band" Iero explained. "He just couldn’t keep it together anymore, his sadness, anger and distrust were too much to handle and took over all aspects." Eventually, Iero would be the one to tell Bryar that "he was out of the band" in 2010.
"He isolated himself by design pretty soon after that," Iero continued. "I tried to see him a few times over the years, but he politely made it impossible. I don’t think i ever got to tell him i was sorry, i don’t know if it would have mattered… but i do wish like hell I finished the text conversation we had back in September."
Bryar joined the MCR lineup in 2004, replacing Matt Pelisser after the release of Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. He was featured on their iconic 2006 album The Black Parade and also helped write their last album, 2010's Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, but left the band before its release. Sadly, news of his passing came just weeks after the band unveiled a massive 2025 stadium tour to celebrate The Black Parade.
The drummer was found dead inside his home in Tennessee on November 26 and was last seen alive on November 4. Although Bryar's cause of death has yet to be revealed, TMZ reports that foul play is not suspected. He was 44 years old.
See Iero's post and read his full message below.
i still don’t feel like this is real… people your age, your peers, the ones you shared so much time and experience with aren’t supposed to just suddenly leave your life forever... but i suppose permanence isn’t really a concept humans are meant to understand.
i’ve spent the past few days thinking about Bob a lot and the person i knew him to be. These are some of the things that stuck out:
BC Bryar was a lot of things. An enigma of sorts because he often inhabited both ends of any spectrum at the same time. He was my friend and my bandmate, but he was also a stranger to me for most of my life. We lived together for a while, on and off the road… but after the band we would go months on end without any type of contact until i texted him a “happy birthday!” or out of nowhere he would hit me asking how old the kids were these days or check in on how my dad was feeling.
Sometimes we’d trade a meme or photos of lego builds we had done, but then someone would leave the other on read and an indeterminate radio silence would follow. In the meantime i’d hear rumblings of what he might be up to or some shit he’d stirred up online, but that wasn’t ever the person i was acquainted with. Bob was incredibly talented and he knew it, confident enough in his abilities to convince us that he was the right drummer for our band without us actually ever hearing him play drums.
However, over the years i found him to be incredibly self conscious and introverted whenever he felt placed outside of his comfort zone. Bob was eccentric as fuck and funny as hell. He could be mean and troll you so hard that it would cut you in half, but if you ever really needed something he would be the first one there to give you whatever he had if it would help you out in some way or put a smile on your face.
Although thumbing his nose and pissing people off was always a favorite pastime and something he didn’t ever grow out of…(i guess if you find you do something well, you tend to stick to it.)
Bob often got fixated on things to a point of obsession and he liked to make things difficult. In a strange way i think he found some comfort in it. His drumming was clean, always precise and unique, but i remember while on tour for the black parade he got bored, and so as a game he decided to position all of his drums flat so that there were no angles pointing toward him. In turn making it more uncomfortable to play and ultimately injuring his wrists. As far as i know he refused to ever go back to a more comfortable position… but this was also around the time Bob refused to wear any kind of footwear other than walmart slippers because he preferred comfort over any kind of style.
BC Bryar was at times the one i related to the most in the band because his humor was dark as fuck just like mine and we could laugh over our collective negativity without ever worrying we might offend one another. We even had this plan to get semi matching tattoos that would
say: Bob/Frank Hates _______. and then we could fill them in with something different in mark each day when we undoubtedly found a new thing that got on our nerves. There were also times when i think Bob disliked me immensely, and wished he could kick me out of the band.
Maybe some days he would have written my name in sharpie on the blank space of that tattoo.
Bob really didn’t like the company of people all that much, but he loved animals. i’m quite convinced he would have been happy to watch the world burn if he could be promised not a single dog or cat would be harmed in the process. At one point while we were working and living out in LA Bob and a few friends got scammed by a dog trainer and one of his dogs was killed in the process. It was a real shady story and Bob was devastated. It really wrecked him emotionally and i don’t think he was ever the same again. Things really went south with him and the band following that incident, he just couldn’t keep it together anymore, his sadness, anger and distrust were too much to handle and took over all aspects.
I remember telling him, please just come to me with stuff first. You can talk to me about whatever shit is bothering you without a filter and together we can come up with a way to either fix the situation or figure out a plan on how to discuss this with everyone else…. But ultimately it was a bandaid that didn’t hold, the damage was done and Bob was too far gone. Eventually I was the one that had to tell him he was out of the band. He isolated himself by design pretty soon after that. I tried to see him a few times over the years, but he politely made it impossible. I don’t think i ever got to tell him i was sorry, i don’t know if it would have mattered… but i do wish like hell I finished the text conversation we had back in September.
I hope you found some peace, BC.
I’m glad the universe let me know you for a
while. xofrnk